How Harrison Ford Made Me Sick This Past Week

Okay, here's the deal...I adore Harrison Ford.  I have loved him ever since Princess Leia said to Han Solo "I love you" and he famously replied "I know," one of the best withering lines in the history of the movies. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sO-KR-14uXM

I still loved him when he divorced his rather plain wife Melissa who wrote the screenplay for ET.  I continued to love him even when he married a woman over twenty years younger, whose appearance makes me want shake her by her tiny, boney shoulders and say, "For the love of God woman, eat a Rueben sandwich."  They probably just hold her up to the light to do an x-ray.  She sort of reminds me of the Olsen twins, one of those smudgey-eyed women who look like feral night creatures.

(photo courtsey of Huffington Post)
But Harrison and I are through.  Finished.  It is over.  I've put up with all the other women, but the outrage below cannot be tolerated. It is abusive.

It is a good thing that I was already in my doctor's office when I read this because if I hadn't needed a check up before, I would have been sick after seeing this sacrilege.  AARP?????  Indy, my darling, say it isn't so.