Yuck. Thursday was a horrible day. As
usual, I found two typos in my blog post after it was up. Hate that.
I proofread it three times.
I got in to trouble at work
yesterday. Now, everything turned out
just fine. I am not in trouble now. However, it just gives me the shivers for
anyone at work to think that I’ve done something wrong. In fact, I don’t want anyone anywhere to
think I’ve done something wrong.
I try very hard to do the right
thing. However, there are many gray
areas in the division I work in.
Actually, there are many gray areas in law enforcement in general. That’s where what is called “police
discretion” come in. Every single
possible scenario cannot be covered in an SOP, so one must use educated
judgment.
There are 39 other people in the state
who do my job. All of us work with a law
enforcement officer who is more seasoned than we newbies. Not everyone in my organization supported the
idea from “on high” that created our unique positions. Change is difficult in any big
organization. Heck, change is difficult
for individuals, never mind hundreds of individuals at once.
My more senior colleague and I had not
communicated effectively about an issue.
It was nothing deliberate on anyone’s part and certainly not that we
were being slackers or trying to do the wrong thing. However, when I got the speaker phone call
from my direct supervisor and the officer, I was filled with dread. I literally got sick to my stomach. I fretted, worried, castigated myself, second
guessed how I handled it, fumed…basically put myself through the wringer.
I’m so Godly, right? Not.
The Godly thing would have been to leave it in His capable hands. As the Word says, “and having done all, stand.”
Nope, I had two glasses of wine while out to dinner, my hands shook all night,
and I didn’t sleep. Jeepers. Not that I think having a glass of wine is a
bad thing, but drinking to calm down from being upset is not a good idea.
Where and when did I decide to leave out
that part of the Word which promises, “There is now therefore no condemnation
for those who are in Christ Jesus?” Why
is it that I think God’s promises apply to everyone except for me? God knows the cure for every situation, which
we can discover in His Word...except for poor, pitiful Annie. She’s in trouble at work and she’s gonna get
it!
After sleeping about an hour during the
entire night, I got up and went to work.
My more senior co-worker called my cell phone and my stomach
lurched. I let it go to voice mail to
give myself time to think briefly. I was
really angry that he had gone over my head to my supervisor before he ever
talked to me. I thought of being cold
and distant for a second, you know, to punish him. Of course that would make any interaction SO
MUCH BETTER…not!
Golden rule, baby. Treat him as you would want to be
treated. Love justice, seek mercy, and walk
humbly with your God. I forced my voice
to be cordial when I called back. He had
several items for me to take care of. I took all the information down. I took a deep breath and apologized to him
for the trouble yesterday. You can always say that you’re sorry for a
misunderstanding or a stressful situation.
Do you know what? I’m not in any trouble. He told me that I
didn’t need to apologize and that he was sorry, too. We reviewed what happened. We brainstormed strategies for better
communication. We realized that there
were two issues that were a bit confusing for both of us, so we agreed to get
clarification from our mutual supervisor.
We both hung up feeling like we could work together better
What would have happened if I threw a
fit? What would have happened if kept my
voice cold – men hate that! Would I have
had a good outcome if I went to complain to my supervisor? I don’t think I would have had such a
positive result, do you?
Maybe I don’t immediately handle this
kind of thing well, but thank God I was able to hear Him by the next day. Thank God I listened to that still, small
voice telling me what to do this morning.
Thank God I listened and I obeyed.
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